Long Distance Love

Friends and colleagues often comment regarding my travel schedule, “How is your family doing with all of this?” The question comes from a place of sincere care and concern for my well-being and that my wife and two boys. My response to these inquiries is typically, “They’re doing great. Sometimes it’s tough, but overall things are going well.” The awesome truth is that my response is just as genuine as the question that’s been raised.

There are plenty of road warriors out there who spend more time in hotels than they do in their own home, I am not one of them. While it’s true I spent nearly 100 days on the road in 2014, according to my wife, Denise, it felt like less. If you’re a road warrior, I hope these five tips for long distance love help you moving forward.

• Love Rooted in God- First and foremost, without the unconditional love of our God and each other, keeping our marriage and family intact with this level of travel would not be possible. We do our best to pray together every day while I’m on the road and always say good night. This personal connection between husband, wife, and God is most crucial. Reading a book together, even across the miles is another way to stay connected.
• Support from others is one key element that Denise relies on when I’m away. From childcare to a friendly phone call, the love surrounding us is simply incredible. I cannot thank our friends and family enough for the understanding and support they give Denise. I hope you have this kind of encouragement. If there are naysayers that don’t believe in the work you do or the life you live, it may be time to fire them. Check out Henry Cloud’s Boundaries to learn more.
• Optimism is another ingredient to successful work travel. We never count how many days I’ve been away in a foreign city, rather how many days it will be till I’m home. It keeps us looking forward! Don’t misunderstand, I love my career and the privilege I have to minister and build relationships all over the world, but it’s always good to be home. I stay focused on how the work I do will have a positive and meaningful impact in the lives of those I meet. Denise and the kids stay focused on fun activities while I’m gone and creative ways to welcome me home. Optimism takes personal initiative and focus. Ignore the negative and fear, and focus on what makes you smile and come alive.

• Technology allows us to connect visually and is the closest thing to being there in person. I will often use FaceTime to show our children the view #fromwhereIsit abroad. And there is something special about virtually tucking your kids into bed at night from 3,000 miles away. Download the teleconferencing app of your choice onto your computer or phone today.
• Corporate Culture is often an overlooked undergirding to career travelers. My team, manager and organizational leadership are constantly monitoring my (and our team’s) work/life margin. They want to ensure we are well cared for, supported and healthy enough to be highly involved at home and productive at work. I’m continually blown away by their care. If you don’t have this in your workplace, it may be time to change your scenery.