Saying No

I have a difficult time saying “no.” Would you like fries with that? YES. Would you like to be your son’s soccer team manager? YES. And most recently, would you like to join the HOA board of directors? YES. Growing up, I was the boy in class who eagerly volunteered clean the chalkboard, take out the garbage, or simply collect the colored pencils. I have a painful memory from seventh grade when collecting the colored pencils actually got me into deep trouble. Something about talking to the cute brunette who sat two chairs in front of me.

• I only checked my work email twice.  I know, you’re sitting there judging me for even connecting to my VPN while on family vacation. I accept your judgment, but I was able to triage 25 emails in less than 10 minutes and return to the office yesterday feeling less stressed. Had I not mentioned my check-in to my wife, she never would’ve known that I did a little work.
• Our travel schedule was packed, but I had plenty of opportunities to squeeze in more “fun.” We passed up Shear Madness, the longest running stage play in North America, Blue Man Group, the Boston Sports Museum, and a Sam Adams Brewery tour. All of these would have been FREE. But not really. They would have come with a price- added stress, thus reducing quality family time.

Here is how it changed:

• Priorities. I took an assessment of my life late last year and realized that with my good intentions to serve, get involved, and live life to the fullest, I wasn’t truly living life to the fullest. Take inventory of your life. Are you happy with your current spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, financial and relational health? Are your days and weeks made up of moments without heart-connected memories? Refocus on what’s most important in your time here on earth. Are you serving God or simply self-promoting?
• Intentionality. When opportunities come my way, I now analyze the deeper “why” behind my desired involvement. I then test the WHY against my priorities to see if the two align. The toughest question you made need to ask is, “Who am I doing ________ for?” Jot down all the organizations and activities you are involved in, even remotely, such as driving your children to sports or musical practices. Do you believe in the WHY? Do you even know your WHY?
• Time management. These two words together are actually an oxymoron. Time cannot be managed. It happens. You cannot control it. What you can control is what occupies your time. Look at your calendar for the upcoming week. Are your planned activities part of your life priorities? Do you feel deep sense of commitment to the WHY behind them?

  

When your time is consumed with intentional, prioritized activity, you stand a greater chance of peace in the midst of productivity.

When your time is consumed with intentional, prioritized activity, you stand a greater chance of peace in the midst of productivity. Say no to the little things so you can say yes to the bigger things. For additional tips on saying no, please check out author, speaker and leader-developer, Michael Hyatt. He outlines his strategies here.

Thank you for the challenge, Jon.

Question: What is one thing you could say “no” to today that would allow you to say “yes” to something that aligns with your schedule, intent and life priorities? Leave your answer in the comments section below.